Jazz and Lubby talk raising teens.

Parenting Teens: 15 Tips to Raise Happy, Motivated Teenagers (daniel-wong.com)
https://www.daniel-wong.com/2021/12/04/parenting-teens/

Talk to Your Kids About Sex and Healthy Relationships - MyHealthfinder | health.gov
https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/healthy-living/sexual-health/talk-your-kids-about-sex-and-healthy-relationships

Teens and drugs: 5 tips for talking with your kids - Harvard Health
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/teens-and-drugs-5-tips-for-talking-with-your-kids-2018081614565

17 Activities to do with Teenager (Family Activities with Teens) (moneyprodigy.com)
https://www.moneyprodigy.com/activities-to-do-with-teenager

Plus this weeks dive into Reddit

RELATIONSHIPS

I only found out I had a daughter three months ago when she reached out to me and a DNA test confirmed it. I broke up with her mother before I knew she was pregnant and she never reached out to me after that. So it was a bit of a shock. But we kept in touch, we saw each other a few times. A week ago she asked me if she could move in with me for a few months because her mom kicked her out. I told her I'd think about it but I honestly don't want her to move in. I don't know how to tell her no without hurting her feelings. How do I do that?

I was offered a baseball scholarship in high school. My girlfriend got pregnant and I turned it down so I could stay with her. She had no one and I couldn’t take care of her and the baby while in school. She passed away while she was in the first trimester. After that, I stayed in town and got a job selling motorcycles. I accepted that my life could have been a lot different but I made the right decision at the time. I now live with my current girlfriend and her/our daughter. I met her when she was three months pregnant and I’ve raised and cared for her alongside her mother. She may not be biologically mine, but she’s my baby. My girlfriend stays home with her while I work. I met my parents for lunch yesterday. We were chatting and I said something about my job. My dad got a little frustrated and said I wouldn’t have had to deal with it if I had gone to college on my scholarship. I told him no, I needed to stay here for what I thought was going to be my new family. My dad has always been furious that I turned the scholarship down to stay here. He said “you turned down the perfect life just to end up with a shit job and take care of another man’s child.” How do I get my father to accept I'm happy with my life as it is?

My girlfriend and I were having a conversation about “work crushes”. She mentioned that there’s a handsome guy at her work and that he looks middle eastern. Me: jokingly I say to her that maybe she has a thing for middle eastern guys. She said that she had briefly dated two guys like that. And that she finds that look to be very attractive etc. Then she almost subconsciously blurted out in passing that it’s her preferred type. I explained to her that it makes me feel like I am her second choice. (I am White btw). She goes on to say that she finds me attractive and I have other characteristics that she also loves about me etc. What do I do now?

It's a very complicated story how me and my husband got married. But to make a long story short, it's a lot of family issue, debts, and cultural things involved. So it's like I was forced to marry him. I get married at 23 years old, and my husband was 28 years old. It's been 3 years since our marriage (I'm 26 and he's 31 now) and what I respect about him is he never touch me or even tried to make me do things that I don't want. And this is including getting intimate. We never get intimate because I told him that I'm not ready for it, and he respect it. That respect slowly growing into me actually liking him, I just don't know but he looks so much better in my eyes these days than 3 years ago. But I just don't know how to tell him that I'm finally ready to be a wife that he wants. Not gonna lie I feel very ashamed of myself too for basically ignoring him all these years. Any advice on how I should approach this situation without embarrassing myself?

PARENTING

My son is turning ten in a few weeks and he wants to invite the entire class with the exception of one kid who has bullied him (and a few others) for the last two years. Part of me feels bad that this kid will be the only one not invited but their feelings aren’t really my problem, my priority is my son and this other child causes a lot of problems at school. I also don’t deal with conflict well and the last few times this child wasn’t invited to other parties, the father confront the parents and demands to know why. I know this all sounds a bit petty but is bad to exclude this other child?

My toddler has been going to a babysitter once a week for the past four months. We had a terrible experience trying to put her in two different daycares, but I absolutely love her babysitter. The babysitter has two young children of her own and also watches two other children. Recently my babysitter has made several comments about how poor she is. She moved to a beautiful, large house on plenty of land. She has two cars, gorgeous furnishings in her home, and certainly does not look poor upon first impression. She tried taking on even more children, so that at a certain point there were 8 kids:1 adult, but that didn't work out and she ended up firing a few of the kids (they started to bully her son). She's also been trying to frantically sell all of her old clothing online. My husband went to pick up the toddler a couple of weeks ago and said he saw the babysitter's SO sitting on the couch with bloodshot, teary eyes. She recently sent me a message and told me she's trying to get a weekend/evening job at a fast food joint, so we might have to start picking the kiddo up earlier in the day. Last week, I texted her multiple times while kiddo was in her care and she never answered me. I asked her at pickup if she got my texts and she said she hadn't paid her phone bill this month. Should I be concerned?

I (30M) have taken in 2 teen siblings (15F/17M). My brother is pretty chill, just games and does his own thing. My sister though, created a whole social media persona about how shitty her life is. I get ppl cope with stuff in different ways, but she goes on TikTok and basically pretends she is homeless, a self harmer, an addict, etc. Basically all very negative things. The reality is she has her own room, an iPhone 13, an electric scooter, we live in a good neighborhood and all her needs are met. I was angsty when I was a kid too I guess, but I can’t help but feel some type of way…like I’m not expecting gratitude from a kid, but pretending she has some dark, deep past for likes on socials is really hurting me. This hasn’t been easy, so I’m just trying to do the best I can. Oh, and therapy…yeah I tried that and she won’t go. How do I address this?

My baby boy seems to cry anytime I have him- I’m his mom- but perks up with everyone else- husband, MIL, etc. I have postpartum depression so he may be picking up on that but really wanting encouragement because my baby DOES NOT want me most of the time .How do I make him like me?

SEX

Recently found my(19M) missing stringer(tank top) in my girlfriend’s(21F) dorm room. It was my favorite stringer and looked everywhere for it; so I was pissed when I saw it there, and I fucking knew she wasn’t wearing it since it was super musty from my workout(I suffer from hyperhidrosis, so every inch of it was SOAKED through with sweat). So when I confronted her about it she told me that she likes to jerk off to it. She was really embarrassed about her kink(?). Is it that common? How can I make it more pleasurable for her(somehow)?

I, 19f, recently found out that my boyfriend, 24m, watches porn because of his search history on his laptop. We talked about it and agreed that it's not a big deal. Him watching porn doesn't really bother me. So one night, while he was at work, I decided to watch porn myself. I didn't think it was a big deal seeing as he did it himself a few days ago. But when he came home and saw that I'd been watching lesbian porn he was hurt and insulted. He was upset because he felt like it invalidated our relationship - I'm dating a man, not a woman. He felt like I was disrespecting him, as obviously lesbian sex is different from straight sex. He told me that I should be with a woman if that's what I want. The thing is, he already knew I was bi and that I liked women, so I don't know why it's such a shock. What is going on??

I'm dating this guy, he likes me a lot, but he has so many red flags. I don't see a long lasting relationship with him. The thing is, I'm almost 25 and still a virgin and I was thinking to stay with him a few months to learn stuff about sex. But I'm afraid I will get very attached and end up heartbroken. How do I have sex and not get attached?

I (M31) have been dating my gf (28) for 9 months. Initially, in the first few months, we had a lot of sex (once a day). We now live together and maybe have sex once or twice a week. She works from home and I don’t. I’ve noticed when I come home that her vibrator which she keeps on a shelf in our bedroom closet has been moved or used and now have started to see where it was versus where it is the next day. (Moved). I feel like when we have sex, we have great sex but she is not as up for it as much as she used to be or will say, ‘no not tonight’ or ‘not this morning’ but then once I leave for work she is clearly masturbating on her own. It’s really getting to me as I’m worried she’s no longer into our sex or me and I have found myself thinking about it a lot and checking to see if the vibrator was used when I get home. Am I being crazy?

WORK

I recently started a new job that has a ton of downtime. Which sounds nice until the busy season starts then we get crushed. However, as my work is time sensitive I can’t start whenever I want. It’s very much a do them as they come in type of job. Anyway, I feel like there are days if not weeks where I go in and do nothing for 8 hours then go home. Is this normal?

I am currently employed and my job will soon be reorganized. Some of the responsibilities will be taken away and a lot will be added. To put it simply, the unique one-man job I am doing will be only for a fraction the same. Can a company just do that and would I need to sign a new contract?

I was told I’m not my boss’s favorite because he doesn’t get along with girls who are “strong willed” and that’s why he’s only scheduled me one day a week. I guess advocating for myself that I need more hours than that to pay rent and bills makes me a strong willed bitch. Not only that he scheduled me to work the day I had court which I told him about when I got hired. I told him I could work any other day. I came in anyway and worked 3 hours after throwing up from nerves of having to represent myself in court against the man who sexually assaulted me and I’m still the bitch.. I don’t get it. I offered to come in Saturday when the other waitress got Covid and he said no, not even a thank you, nothing. Why am I hated?

I recently helped someone write a proposal, and did a significant amount of the work. I basically carved out the entire direction and validated it. I recently found out that the lead had taken my name off of it prior to submitting the proposal. What’s the best course of action here? HR? Manager? Both?

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7 Best Places to Meet Singles (For Men & Women) (datingadvice.com)

6 Tips For Writing a Great Personal Ad

What to Talk About on a First Date: 20 Things (marriage.com)

11 Things You Should NOT Talk About on The First Date (herlifeonline.com)

15 helpful tips to breaking up with someone you just started dating (ideapod.com)

RELATIONSHIPS

How would you feel if your mother opened your children’s birthday cards and made her own decision on what would happen with the money?

Yesterday, I went clubbing for the first time...... (bad idea)!!!! I got drugged and blacked out for the whole night. I could barely remember half of the night. (I couldn't even remember the cab driver's face or the guys that safely called us a cab). I was struggling to remain conscious enough to call a cab. I didn't know where I was. I didn't remember where the cab driver dropped us and I didn't remember where my dorm was. I know I was kissed cause my mouth hurts. Now my boyfriend is angry at me because I shared a non-consensual kiss. How do I make him understand its not my fault?

Me and my boyfriend were friends prior to us dating, I knew him for about a year before we started dating and we’ve been dating for 3 months. Me and him were very close before and he had became friends with me because my best friend introduced him to me. He confessed he had feelings for me but I wasn’t in a good place at the time to reciprocate feelings, But the more we talked the more i started to like him. When we started dating he constantly wanted to be around me which was fine but it was too much because at times i needed space and time for myself it felt as if he was suffocating me. When i would tell him I would call him later because I needed to shower, You could tell he was getting upset and he would be like ‘why don’t you just bring it with you are you hiding something ’? How do I get him to stop being so clingy?

My fiance has changed his preferences to directly fit in to a female coworkers of him. He gets a new job after being unemployed for a while due to mental health and starts working with a 23yo named "Chrissy". He talks about her just like he talks about all his other employees. No suspicious behavior in the beginning. But then shit just changes quick. Like he is not a dog person at all and has expressed multiple times that he never wanted one but all the sudden, out of the blue, he "needed" a dog and was constantly looking up photos of dogs or watching tiktoks of dogs and low and behold, we now have a dog. The connection there is that Chrissy brings her 3 dogs to work every day and only posts on social media about how much of a dog mom she is and how she can't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs, or can't be with anyone who doesn't like/have "doggos". Second thing.. Matt doesn't drink often and when he does, he is strictly a whiskey drinker. He hates anything pumpkin flavored and hates beer. He all the sudden started bringing home pumpkin head beer every single weekend. This was shortly following Chrissy posting on FB about being upset because she ran out of Pumpkin Head and had to drink a different beer or whatever (I only know her posts because she added me on FB some months back). Am I being paranoid?

SEX
Girl said she wanted to be “sexually disrespected” in bed. What exactly is she looking for? Im
open minded but I’m looking for specific things she would want me to do to her? What do you like? Don’t want to take it too far but at the same time don’t want to be boring.

Hi I’ve been in a relationship for 7 months and my girl is on BC and one other medication and ever since we started doing sexual stuff 4 months ago I haven’t gotten her wet at anytime during the 4 months we been doing it. The days I ask her about it she tells me she likes it and I shouldn’t worry about it and it’s her medication that’s causing her to be really dry. Also when we have sex we have to use extra stuff just for me to get in. So is this bad and should I be doing stuff about it or should I just listen to her and keep doing the same old stuff?
I am a new mom of a 6 month old, but during my pregnancy I didn't have much of a sex drive at all and that was very not me....but now it's hitting me all at once all these hormones and my sex drive is crazy but I currently am not in a relationship with my baby's father so I am getting nada. I feel like all I do is take care of my baby and see the occasional friend but when I do have a spare moment to myself all I want to do is have sex .... I'm tempted to reach out to other people I know and start flirting and what not but I don't want to be like that ...that is not who I am. I am the relationship type but all I can think about is sex and even when I am sitting there doing nothing I get aroused just by the slightest thought of becoming hot and heavy with even a stranger ....God what is wrong with me. I feel like a bad mom for even thinking of doing that ...let alone what if I can't control myself one day and end up screwing the mailman for heaven sake lol But seriously would it be slutty of me to have a random hook up with a baby so young?

What is off limits during Periods?

PARENTING

My first grader came home yesterday telling me that this year they aren’t allowed to play tag because someone could get hurt. I’m actually kind of upset about this. Why have recess at all? I don’t want to be the bitchy mom but I honestly want to bring this up to the teacher. Should I?

My kiddo shares their birthday with Thanksgiving. Most people are traveling or have family plans around that time. I’d still like to do something small and special with family on their real birthday but throw the birthday party with lots of kids on their half birthday. But it is kind of weird. How would you feel if your kid was invited to a half birthday party?

Messy divorce. Ex-husband has two kids from previous marriage. One is 16 and brand new behind the wheel. He wants her to pick up our 6 year old son. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that and would be happy to meet him or have my folks meet him at a convienent location. Now he's pissed and saying I am being unreasonable. Plus custody agreement says responsible adult for transportation. Am I being unfair here?

My 4 year old is on her 4th day of school today. She's been really cranky after school and struggles to behave and regulate emotions. Like my kid went from easy going to having meltdowns when she's told what to do. She's also given me a lot more attitude. Last night she also woke up screaming and crying asking for me to cuddle her. What's going on??

WORK

I have a meeting next week to renew my contract and the manager asked me to do a report of any achievements/successes I’ve had in the last few months ahead of said meeting. Any advice for what should be included or how I go about this?

Suppose you anticipate being asked where you’re going, why you’re leaving, and if you’ll attend an exit interview. And suppose there’s no merit to answering these questions, and you’d like not to. How can you politely refuse? Without burning bridges, I’d just like to shrug all this off.

I (25f) have been working as a Graphic Designer since I graduated college. Graphic Design and Art have always been passions of mine, but after entering the job field I've just found more annoyance and frustration working in this field than pleasure. Awhile ago I was working with clients directly through a company that employed me. The pay was awful and taking clients was miserable. I decided to find something new and I'm now working in the marketing department in an office building as the Graphic Designer, so I'm no longer taking clients. However, I've found the direction (or lack there of) from my supervisor to be infuriating and not much better than dealing with a client. I'm not able to have any creative freedom, and the repetition of creating ad after ad using the same formula has me bored out of my mind. What do I do now?

I've worked at my job for 2 1/2 years. I've had 17 days off sick because I have a medical condition I'm taking meds for. I normally get to work 5 days. Now I'm only aloud to work 3 days a week because my manager has worked out how much I've worked over the last 12 weeks and I'm now working that average if that makes sense to anyone?

Managing Introvert Burnout: Signs And Tips To Cope
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/current-events/managing-introvert-burnout-signs-and-tips-to-cope/

11 Ways to Make Entertaining Less Stressful for Introverts
https://introvertdear.com/news/11-ways-to-make-entertaining-less-stressful-for-introverts/

4 Reasons Introverts Hate Last-Minute Plans
https://introvertdear.com/news/4-reasons-introverts-hate-last-minute-plans/

How to Make Your Relationship Work as an Introvert Who Needs ‘Quality Time’
https://introvertdear.com/news/how-to-make-your-relationship-work-as-an-introvert-who-needs-quality-time/

RELATIONSHIPS

My father-in-law is staying over at our house for a couple weeks and we've given him our bedroom to sleep in. Last night, the wife and I were having a few drinks and watching TV. She went upstairs earlier and I finished up around 1am. The combination of sleepiness and alcohol took a toll, and I forgot that we aren't sleeping in our room. Bear in mind that all the lights were out so I could only see a shadow in bed. I got into bed (naked), curled up beside who I thought was my wife and tried to spoon her in the hope that something might happen. That's when he turns around and says very loudly "John??" Omg I flipped out. I leapt out of bed, and tried to put on my boxers as quickly as possible. In the event, I tripped over them, he turned on the light and I was laying there naked on the floor. I just crawled out of the room in shame and went to the correct room. I told my wife this morning and she finds it hilarious. I'm still mortified by it and not sure how to bring it up with him once he wakes up?

I (25F) just got dumped by my fiancé (31M). We just celebrated our three year anniversary and our wedding is in 30 days. I am at a loss. He does not want to talk about it and refuses couples therapy. He said he’s been feeling unhappy for a while. He told me he wanted to work it out but told his sister he wanted to leave. I am broken and confused. We’ve lived together for over 2 years. I want to work it out but at this point I don’t think he does and i don’t think there’s anything left to fix. I still love him. What do I do?

My gf (25F) of 1,5 years forgot my(27F) birthday. Prior to this, in a conversation, she braggingly mentioned how she loves to plan ahead for the special people and their special days maybe weeks in advance. She loves the gifting and everything. And then she forgot my special day. I'm not someone that cares greatly about birthdays but lately I have been really struggling mentally and have been feeling depressed (something I have also mentioned to my partner of course). I think on top of all that, this situation is making me feel very....uncared for. Very sad. I am thinking about breaking up. Is this a valid reason to end a relationship.

I think I'm still in shock. I (29F) have dated my ex (34M) for a month and ended things amicably in June. Today, his mom showed up at my workplace while I was working. She asked me if I knew who I was (I didn't - I thought she was a client). She then proceeded to tell me how her son was extremely depressed because I left him, he is barely eating, he only leaves his house to go to work and doesn't go out much because he doesn't have any friends anymore. She then told me that she was leaving because their family lives abroad, and she was extremely concerned about leaving him alone like this. She made me feel like it was my fault he was depressed and lonely, and wanted me to get back together with him because he's waiting for me to go back to him. I told her that if he was that lonely, maybe his family could move back here so they can be with him. She said that was their intention if we gave her some grandchildren (WTF). Do I call him and tell him what his mom did?

My girlfriend (39) is very untrusting and it’s starting to break me (40). I have never and would never be unfaithful to her. We dated several years ago and a few months ago got back together. We’ve been on and off in that sense for probably 6 years overall but known each other far longer than that. I was hoping after all this time things would change. She claims to just want to post pictures on my behalf (which I also find weird), but I know it’s just to look through everything on my page. I love her very much but this kind of thing I’m just not comfortable with. A girl could say hello to me on there (which doesn’t actually happen anyway) and she would probably lose her mind. I could go into more detail but I’m just so exhausted right now with the whole thing. It breaks my heart that she doesn’t trust me because I’d never even consider doing anything behind her back. She has now blocked me from contacting her because I didn’t want to give her my password and I’m unsure what to do from here. Any suggestions?

PARENTING

So me and my husband normally get along and agree with most aspect of how we raise our kids. This however is our main disagreement. He doesn’t consider knowing how to cook actual food a life skill and doesn’t think we should bother to teach it to our kids. Whenever I say teach them to cook I mean simple stuff like tacos or spaghetti. I’m not going to expect my kid to make thanksgiving at fifteen. I try to involve both kids f(7) and m(4) with preparing meals. But husband seems to think I’m just enforcing something unnecessary and if they grow up to have no interest in cooking don’t bother to show them, just teach them how to preheat an over for a frozen pizza. What do you think?

Daughter who is in kindergarden will finish school at 3:30. My husband and I work from home till 4:30/5. I’m worried she will be too tired for after school activities every day. We want her to come home and relax but not have her just watching her iPad until dinner time. She also won’t have any homework this year. She sometimes can play independently but depends on her mood and doesn’t always last long. Any ideas? What do your kids do?

My 18mo is a messy, messy human. She has stains on all of her clothes and even though I don’t mind because they still do their ‘job’ (and she doesn’t mind because she’s 18mo)… there’s always a voice in the back of my head wondering if people are looking at me as a bad parent? Should I worry that I’m being judged?

I recently Got a Job where i Work from Home. I Work about 8-10 hours (mon-fri), But my 4 year Old wants to play all the time when she is Home. In the beginning i thought it was because she thought it was Nice i was Home. But after a few months, she still wants constant attention. She wants me to play in her room and gets upset when i Wont. How do i teach her to play by herself ?

My kids aged 3.5 and 1.5.. wife just started getting her period back after our second child a few months back. Problem is that it’s irregular and seems to last 3/4 weeks. So we get a small window for sex. With that window, our kids are awake ALL THE DAMN TIME. They know man, they fucking know. All I want is 10 minutes of intimacy with my wife. But my youngest.. she has better ideas. She literally needs to co sleep. We’ve tried everything, sleep specialists, leaving her crying, putting her down.. she will not sleep unless she is with someone. Help!!

SEX
I had a girlfriend in this June and we had intercourse but her vagina odor is in my pubic hair, I don't know if that's normal but even If I wash it is still there. I used condom but I don't know if I got STD in my pubic hair, someone tell me how to get rid of the smell?

m28 here. i went for a night out to a club at the weekend, having a really good time when this girl started giving me "the eyes", she was cute with a good figure etc so we started chatting at the bar, after the club closed she and her friends came back to mine, shortly after her friends left so it was just me and her (she told them she wanted to stay), and so the fun begins, we had sex obviously. afterwards we lay chatting and stuff and i started to realize she seemed quite immature, which is when i asked how old she was.....18! and only just turned 18 like 5 weeks ago!!! i feel like an absolute creep, i am in the UK and there is no legal problem but morally it feels wrong with such an age difference. How do I get past this?

For the past little while I've had an on/off relationship with a women, we've slept together maybe 5 times or so and while I can get her off just fine I cant seem to ejaculate during sex, we go at it for 45+ minutes sometimes and I'm hard the whole time, that's not a problem. The first time we hooked up I was a virgin and wasnt too surprised I didnt come and just chalked it up to being nervous. But multiple hook-ups later and I still cant. I dont think she minds too much as it means I can go pretty much as long as she wants. regardless of finding her very attractive, I'm worried she may think I'm not into her or that there is something wrong with her. Any advice?

So I (f21) and my boyfriend (m21) both have used weed and lsd before. We both get extremely horny and have used it to our advantage. The last few times we’ve tried, if I’m not very active then he loses his erection.. I know a part of it is the drugs being relaxing, but I wasn’t sure if there are any tricks or positions I should try and use to see if it helps?

I wanna have sex with a girlfriend of mine, but I live with roommates. Where would be a nice place where I can maybe get lucky?

WORK

I have had to take on some of my coworkers work in addition to my daily tasks while they are out of office. I am the senior to junior team members, so I also get pulled to help them research account issues and resolve account escalations. The last few days I have found myself dreading to have to go into work. I never feel accomplished by the time I clock out for the day. I’ve been binge eating, feeling exhausted, and feeling more emotional (sometimes I start to cry). How should I combat burn out? Any tips on how to approach management and ask for help?

I’ve been working at this company for just over a year, 5 months back or so I was told that they were thinking about terminating me for “doing the bare minimum”. Since then i’ve improved, I’ve been told that im doing good and I got a raise for my one year, but my office manager sent me a form to sign stating that I understand that “Upon termination” I am to return everything that i’ve been given by the company (company laptop, access cards, keys etc.) I honestly just need someone to tell me not to worry. This is a regular form right?

Everywhere I have worked, the boss will mention someone is out not feeling well / sick. I find it very odd that my boss won't even mention that an employee is out sick. I understand that you cannot go into details, but staff tend to worry when someone is randomly out for a week without an explanation. Is this normal?! I literally asked if there were updates if the person was feeling better and he responded he cannot disclose any health information regarding employees. He sites it is in line with disclosing sexual orientation; race; gender etc. Curious vc this is my first time I have had a boss behave this way. What is your experience?

I have had some mental health issues for awhile. I ended up going to the ER after taking too much of a medication during a panic attack. All my test results came back stating that I am healthy and no damage was done luckily. I've been here since 11 50 pm and am expected to be leaving around 6 am. I am supposed to work at 7 40. I have an excuse note but I know my manager and coworker are going to ask why I was in the ER. I don't really want my coworkers to know my mental health business. What should I say I was in the hospital for?

Hi, if you informed your employer that they overpaid you this month and they said they will look into it, would you continue to remind them or just keep quiet from that point on?